im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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