please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
