i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
