Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
