CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
