Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
