and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
