please come you make the beer taste better
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
