He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
