how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
