I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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