would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize