break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
