Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
