I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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