I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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