True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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