in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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