I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
