do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize