chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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