Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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