Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
