If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
