you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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