Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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