I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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