My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
