I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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