dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
