Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
