she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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