she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
