2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
