he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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