yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
