She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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