Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
