it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
