just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
