Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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