I want to make a zoo with you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize