As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize