the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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