So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
