i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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