got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
