My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
