ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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