Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

Fav 2 1982 929
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

Fav 12 1473 794
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(636): View more from Missouri

Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.

Fav 8 3407 889
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

Fav 5 3145 1078
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(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths

Fav 23 1193 4462
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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

Fav 4 4081 1754
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(713): View more from Texas

Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

Fav 4 2239 1017
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(941): View more from Florida

Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family

Fav 1 406 662
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.

Fav 0 55 8
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