I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
