so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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