Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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