yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
