3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
