doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
