After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
