You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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