if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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