Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
