every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
