I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
