we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
